See Anita Worthen and Bob Davies, Someone I Love Is Gay, ( Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1996), ch. Much of this will come through healthy same-sex mentors, counselors, encouragers and friends. Henry Cloud, Changes that Heal, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, rev., 2003). But a great deal of growth and restoration will occur as men and women with same-sex attractions learn to develop healthy attachments and healthy boundaries. Certainly men can help lesbian-identified women, and women can help gay-identified men to leave homosexuality and follow Christ. Healthy Same-Sex Relationships Are A Key For Growth And Healing.That “something better” isn’t just forgiveness of sins (although that in itself is an unfathomable gift) - it’s following Jesus Christ, learning to be like Him, being filled with His Spirit, and a life eternal with the Father - a life that starts today, if they put their confidence in Christ. Talk about what God has done in your own life. Then He could offer something even better back to her - living water.īe the bearer of good tidings, not just the announcement that a certain lifestyle is sinful. He needed something she could give - a drink of water. Jesus was able to begin developing a connection with the Samaritan woman at the well because He asked her for a drink. Be Open About Your Own Needs And Struggles.(Then do it!) God’s love working through you will change his or her mind, not winning an argument. When discussing the issue, it’s okay to say you don’t know, but you will find out and get back to them later. You don’t have to become an expert on all aspects of homosexuality before you can be a godly influence on your gay loved one. As He begins the healing work in them, He will highlight areas in their life which must be surrendered to Him. Often, they have little motivation to change until God opens their eyes to His truths. Women or men caught in homosexuality cannot change on their own they need the power of Jesus Christ working in their lives before the change will occur. Point Your Friend To Jesus, Not To Heterosexuality.However they label themselves, view your friend as a man or woman made in the image of God, not as a “homosexual” or a “project.”
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Learn about the whole person, and remember that all people struggle with relationships, identity and sexuality. Of course our relationship with God includes our sexuality, but it isn’t the totality.
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The main issue is their relationship with God, not their sexuality. You may need extra grace, forbearance and persistence to build relationship with your friend. In response, they may develop a protective shell or push people away - anticipating future rejection. Many men and women with same-sex attractions have been wounded - by family members, peers and sometimes by Christians. Would you want to develop relationships with those people? Would you want to follow a God like the one they’re displaying? Or imagine attending church and hearing derogatory language from the pulpit. Imagine attending a gay pride parade and hearing insults shouted by church people standing on the sidelines. Many of those involved in homosexuality have been wounded by well-meaning but ignorant Christians. Rather than seeing your friend as a homosexual, think of him or her as a person who struggles with sexual brokenness/sexual wholeness. Look beyond the “gay” or “lesbian” label to the whole person inside. Your friend is a man or woman with complex fears, hopes and needs. The answer is simple: The same way you share God’s truth with anyone else.
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We are often asked, “How do I witness to this person?”
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Many of us know someone who identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual, whether a co-worker, neighbor, or friend.